Jane Mowat

I’m looking for an older native somerset, primal, though I know that has been lost. A memory, though, of tangled nature, free of design or structure, awakened by sunshine or hidden in shadow. Is this what we are discovering in ourselves during this isolation period of Covid-19?

I am using this time to search and explore the woods near where I live. I do this with mixed feelings, as if there is a wildness, I do not feel that I should enter; we have intruded enough into nature and should stay away. The deer that I have disturbed have until now naturally felt that this was a safe place. Who or what am I also disturbing, without realizing?

Also, there is a certain feeling when stepping off the path and into the unknown. One can get lost. The unfamiliar can become threatening. I am trying to enter the psychological arena of wild nature, without the trappings of ‘nostalgia’ or ‘romantic feelings of beauty’, or such attitudes. The unknown should be alarming as we no longer have points of reference, and feelings of fear and uncertainty dominate. We are not ‘permitted’ to enter a truly natural zone – or, who gives us permission if we are not to be arrogant, and assume dominance?

Being in an uncertain time, not knowing when or even if our known reference points will return, where do we find the resilience, or the confidence to be oneself and at peace? When we step out of the man-made tracks we are confounded by life that is growing, spreading and decaying at its own pace. No-one has – or should – come to manage this environment. Nature has its own long-term plans for managing its forests and the undergrowth that spreads at its feet.

(2 June, 2020)

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